What Could Have Occured
by The.Orange.Ninja.Assassin
Summary: What if Mello made a different choice in life when he and Near discovered L's death? MelloxNear. T for language and boys love. DISCONTINUED
1. I Hate You?

A/N: Phew... here it is! The new and improved version of What Could Have Occured!! -confetti and a balloon- XD Welcome back anyone who read the old version of this and greetings to any new-comers!

Hope everyone enjoys it! Ta!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters. Altough I wish I owned L. -pervy grin-

* * *

"L is dead"

Those were the three words turned Mello's life upside down, inside out and back to front, all at the same time. The moment Roger uttered those three devestating words, Mello's life changed. For better or for worse? Well, it depended on how it was looked at, you could say.

First, Mello was shocked. He stared at Roger, his azure eyes wide with horror and his mouth agape with shock. Everything around him started to spiral away into blackness, Roger, sitting behind his large desk, Near, sitting in his weird way on the floor with that puzzle of his, the walls, the windows, the floor, the sunlight, everything, gone. Mello couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't scream. He could only hear those three damned words repeat again and again in his head.

"L is dead, L is dead, L is dead."

_Mello suddenly saw L standing in front of him. In the blackness, he glowed like a candle. The detectives jet black hair hid his black rimmed eyes. The sight was nothing short of eerie Mello saw his hero's lips move, as if speaking, but no sound came out, but Mello could lip-read what the dead man was saying._

_"I'm sorry, Mello. I have failed. Now's your chance. Make the right decision. Make me proud. Let me know I made the right choice for you."_

_Ls rare smile graced his half hidden features and he slowly faded. Mello wanted to run after him, wanted to grab him by the wrist and pull him back to life. But all Mello could manage was whisper, his lips barely moving as he bade farewell to the most important person in his life._

Sunlight seeped through the darkness. Mello watched hopelessly as Roger, Near, the walls, the floor, the windows, everything blurred back into his vision. The sound of Nears puzzle pieces clicking together started to register in his brain again, Rogers heavy breathing, birds singing outside, the muffled thumps of a child running down the corridor outside the room. Mello let out a breath he didn't realize he'd kept in for god knows how many minutes.

Then, he was angry. No, that's an understatement. Mello was furious, raging. Once everything came back into focus, all Mello felt he could do was scream, shout, hit something or someone or just die. His whole body tensed in rage. His hands, balled up into fists, shook violently at his sides like bodyguards itching to hit someone. Finally he settled with a shout.

"D-dead? Why?" He shrieked uncontrollably, even though he already knew the dreadful answer. "Y-you mean he was killed by Kira? Is that it?" He managed to let these words tumble from his lips without choking on tears while he leaned over the desk to grab Rogers collar, his anger was getting the better of him.

"Most likely." Was all Roger said. Mello wanted to slap the man for being so bloody _calm_ about this.

_'Most likely..._Most likely!?_ That's all he has to say?'_ The words echoed in Mello's mind, but he didn't manage to say them.

"He promised he would see Kira dead! L was _killed_?" A lump rose in his throat as Mello said the last word, but it soon disappeared. "Are you sure?".

"Mello..."

Before Roger could continue, a clatter from behind Mello silenced everything. Then Near's voice sounded throughout the room.

"If you can't beat the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you're nothing but a loser."

Mello gave the small pale boy an infuriated glare. Near had no right to say that about L, no gaddamned right to say that about his idol, dead or not. Mello fought back the urge to slap Near into oblivion before turning back to Roger, anxious. Mello's rage subsided for the moment. Roger knew the question before Mello even said a word.

"So, which of us did L..."

Roger's gaze left the boys and went to his desk, bracing himself for a blond explosion.

"Neither of you, yet... He can't choose, now that he's dead." Mello flinched at the last word. Roger didn't notice this, and therefore continued, "Mello... Near... How about you two work together?"

Mello stopped, right then and there. His face distorted into one mixed with disgust, anger and disbelief. As if Roger _didn't_ no the answer already. His moment of absolute disbelief over, Mello was about to shout and scream and swear until either his throat was so raw he couldn't even whisper or he somehow became unconscious. But that small, barely audible voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Yeah, sounds good."

No one heard the slight strain in Nears voice and even if they did, they wouldn't understand why Nears hidden eyes were suddenly alight with excitement.

Mello didn't hear the strain, only the words. _"Yeah, sounds good?"_. Near _wanted_ to work with Mello? Even after all these years of being treated like shit by him? Knocking over his Lego towers, breaking his robots, hiding jigsaw pieces from him, insulting him, sometimes even physically abusing him?

_'Dude,'_ Mello thought, _'Is that sheep freakin' emo or something?' _Mello snickered to himself at the thought of Near being like that.

Mello turned to Near, the pale boy hadn't moved from his place on the floor and was still putting together his puzzle, although he was nearly done (again).

_For a split second, L was there, standing behind Near. In the tiny amount of time the detective was there, Mello saw his eyes, which were now visible, they were boring into Mello's, pleading. Mello silently gasped_.

'Sounds.... good?' Mello repeated Nears words in disbelief, still staring at where L had momentarily been. Roger followed Mello's gaze curiously. The blond recieved a bewildered look from the caretaker when he appeared to be staring at nothing.

Mello understood why L had been looking at him in that way. In his life, L had always wanted the two boys to be friends, Near would oblige, not enthusiastically or anything like that, but oblige nonetheless. Mello, of course, would have snarled and stomped off grumpily in a huff, until L found him and gave him a much-needed chocolate bar. The idolized detective would be forgiven immediately, between bites of chocolate, of course.

Near paused for a split second, his hand hovering over one of the jigsaw pieces as if in thought, then he resumed to to his puzzle. "Yes." Was all he said, his ash gray eyes never rising from the toy in front of him, in case they gave away his feelings.

"You....you wanna _work_ with..._me_?" Mello stared uncomprehendingly at the top of the white haired boys head.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Near couldn't help but let a slight hurt show in his voice. Thankfully no one noticed it.

"B-but, you hate me, Near." Mello stuttered quite clumsily.

This time Near stopped his puzzle altogether, there was only one piece left to put in. This time, Near looked up, his gray eyes locked with Mello's blue orbs. Slight annoyance now gleamed in the pale boys eyes, and Mello noticed it.

"When did I ever indicate any form of hatred towards you, Mello?". The boy's voice had a sharp edge in it that Mello (nor possibly anyone) had never heard before. Mello suppressed a shudder. Roger stared at Near as if the little innocent prodigy had just swore.

'Well... I mean.... I dunno...' Was all Mello could say, for once speechless. He felt quite stupid for saying what he said now.

Near seemed to accept that response. Back to his normal self, he focused on his jigsaw again and placed the last piece. No sooner had he done that, he tipped the pieces back out, the clattering sound was the only noise in room. Roger was relieved, he was expecting worse, much worse, especially from a certain chocoholicblond. Mello was looking at the other boy the whole time with wide eyes. Finally, he snapped out of his unreadable thoughts.

Mello turned away from everyone and stalked towards a huge armed chair. Throwing himself onto it, Mello huffed, a sign that he was thinking hard about something. Mello shifted his position, so his sat on the chair cross-legged. He remained like that for about twenty seconds, then shifted again so that his legs hung over one arm while his head rested on the other. Another thirty seconds laters, he changed again so that he was sitting on one of the arms.

After ten minutes of Mello changing positions every half minute. He stopped. His head hanging of the edges, his legs hooked over the back. His golden hair feel completely away from his face, revealing lines of concentration on his brow and wrinkles of focus on his nose. His sapphire eyes were distant, as if on another plant.

Mello was hoping to see L again. Maybe the desceased detective would give him advice, or a clue. Right now, Mello wanted to follow anything L told him to do, just to see that rare smile one more time...

But the insomniac never appeared, Mello never got the advice he so desperately needed. Mello then realized he had to do something, something had to happen to make L appear again. But what? Mello didn't know. Mello had to....

"Roger?"

"Yes, Mello?" Roger looked at the blond nervously, expecting the worst.

"May I think about this?"

Roger couldn't suppress his gasp. Mello? Thinking something through? L's death must be really mixing the kid up, Roger thought.

The man smiled warmly, "Of course Mello, come back tomorrow whenever you like. But now it's late, you two may go to your rooms now."

Mello nodded obediently ('_Yep, the kids screwed up_,' Roger thought. '_Mello, _obiedient. H_a.'_) and Near started to scoop up his remaining pieces, placing them on the board like a tray.

Getting off the armchair, Mello appeared distant for once in his life. Mello didn't spare a glance at Near or Roger. He was currently miles away

The two boys left the room silently, Near coming out last. Shutting the door behind him carefully, as if it would fall off it's hinges if closed normally. Then again, it had already fallen off it's hinges many times before after experiencing Mello's wrath for it to be possibly fragile.

Roger watched the door for a few seconds. When he didn't hear Mello's enraged voice screaming and swearing at Near outside his office, the man smiled the first smile to himself since he had discovered L and Watari's death.

Even Roger was surprised at what Near said. During the seven years that Near had stayed here, he'd never shown any strong emotion. In fact, the most emotion Roger had ever seen Near display was when the albino had first arrived. The then six year old boy had whimpered when he stood in front of the door, Roger allowing the child to cling onto his hand nervously.

After just one night, Near suddenly seemed to close up. Speaking only when he had to, and even then, it was monotonous and as short as possible. Always either hiding behind a wall of Lego, cards or dice or tucked away in the darkest corner.

Nobody knew why Near acted like this. L had said he was like that when he himself was younger, but Roger still didn't like it. Roger cared for all the children of Wammy's and he was unnerved by the fact that he'd never seen Near smile, which surely meant that the boy wasn't happy with how he lived, right?

As much as he loved the children, Roger just didn't understand a majority of them. He sometimes questioned himself whether or not he was intelligent enough for this job.

Roger almost swore he saw a hunched over figure was in the room, it was facing him at his desk, smiling broadly. Roger couldn't help but smile back at it. Then it was gone. It itself vanished, but it's presence remained.

Roger was _sure_ that one of the chocolates he had on a plate on the far side of the desk had dissappeared. _That_ was when Roger started to get creeped out.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will be longer, don't worry. There will also be more interaction between Mello and Near, cos you know you want it. XD  
Reviews taste nice to me, kinda like chicken. Give a dog a bone, give a review to me, not much difference. XD  
Thanks people!  
Laters!!


	2. I Don't Think So

A/N: Phew! That was kinda tricky. Keeping Mello and Near in character do not appear to be one of my fortes. XD Anyways, enjoy and forgive me for the slow update.

Disclaimer: Don't own DeathNote. If I did, L wouldn't of died, simple as that. XD

* * *

Mello was already halfway down the corridor when Near closed the door behind him.

Mello was having a quarrel with himself. Part of him was telling him to go, run away, leave these genius losers behind and start his own life, start his own investigation on Kira and catch him, avenging L in the most perfect way possible. But the other half of him was reminding him of Near, the things he said, the way he said them...

_'He wants to work with me? He doesn't hate me? And what was with him showing actual emotions over what I asked him? He's never done anything like that before. This is fucked up. I have to _think_ about this. Yeah, L would've. Speaking of which, what the _fuck_ happened back there? I saw L, he was right there, telling to me to "Make the right decision". What is it? What's the right-'_

"Mello...?" Mello gasped when he realized he'd actually stopped walking. The two boys were still in the corridor of Rodger's office. Near was standing just outside the door of Roger's office, which was quite far away from Mello.

Normally, Mello would have ignored the pale boy, maybe even told Near to piss off. But then he remembered Near's eyes, the edge in his voice. Mello didn't suppress a shiver this time. Mello didn't even turn around to look at his supposed rival. "Yes, Near?" Mello himself was surprised to hear his voice so calm, so collected, not a hint of sneer was in it.

Near couldn't keep the tiny smile off his face, his dead-looking eyes lit up happily, full of life. Mello was paying attention to him....

"I just wanted to thank you..." Near carefully placed his jigsaw on ground against a wall silently. When Near stood up again, Mello was still there, still with his back turned to him.

"Why?" Mello scowled. '_Stupid Near, always so stupidly weird.'_

"For thinking about this." Near clarified vaguely

"What's that meant to mean?" Mello immediately took the reply as an insult.

"..." Silence....

"Near?" _'God, don't tell me he's gonna give me his silent treatment now, little prat.'_

Mello nearly yelped in surprise when he felt a pair of small, shaking hands suddenly grab at his black shirt and something small and round buried itself in between his shoulder blades. Mello spun round to see Near there. The albino quickly latched himself to front of Mello instead, gripping tightly onto the thick ebony fabric of Mellos shirt and burying his face into the blonds chest.

Mello simply watched this, his evening-sky-coloured eyes wide, too shocked to move. _'What the hell? Is this a delayed reaction to Ls death?'_ Mellos eyes glazed over at the thought of his heroes death. But only for a second, because Near started to speak.

"Don't leave Mello. Please, don't...."

_'...Wha?'_

Mello looked down at the smaller boy incredulously. "Near... I'm not going anywhere." Mello tried to pull Near off of him.

Nears grip simply tightened impossibly more, refusing to budge, "If you do leave, nothing good will happen. Please stay, Mello. Don't leave. Please."

Near didn't notice the tears welling from his eyes and dampening Mello's shirt until it was too late. Years of hidden, bottled-up emotions finally spilled from Near's glistening eyes.

It felt wonderful yet awful at the same time for Near, wonderful to be normal, to have emotions, to just be human. Awful to be doing this into the chest of a person who wouldn't hesitate to break his nose and maybe a few other bones while he was at it.

Near almost sobbed aloud in relief when Mello didn't even try to pull away when his tears had soaked through the fabric and clung to Mello's skin on the other side of the fabric.

"Near, what the hell has gotten into you? My shirt.... Near? Why are you crying?"

Mello said this not at all unkindly, but soothingly. Before he knew what he was doing, his arms wrapped around Nears frail, shivering body.

_'Jesus... he's shivering,'_ Mello thought, _'he must be cold or something. Wait, what the hell? Why am I even concerned about this... this brat? I hate him. What the hell are my arms doing around him?'_

Mello wanted to pull them away, push Near off him, maybe punch him for good measure, then leave Whammy's. That would upset Near, Mello thought evilly, he finally found something to break the boy. But Mello also _didn't_ want to.... Near interrupted his quarrelling mind abruptly.

"Mello, I'm scared." He whispered into the older boys now damp shirt.

_'God, why do I _not_ wanna thump him?'_ Mello thought. "Of what Near?" he asked quietly.

"Of losing you." Near said, emotion was overflowing him now, he couldn't stop, he'd dug too deep to stop. He pressed his face harder into Mello's chest, making the older boy gasp slightly. Mello froze in shock, subconsciously tightening his grip on Near.

_'Why is Near still alive and breathing?'_ That hateful voice hissed in Mello's head. He pushed it away for now, it was quite frankly starting to irritate him. Mello then intentionally tightened his hold of Near. The snowy-haired boy immediately reacted by loosening his grip slightly and shivering a little less.

Mello never thought this would ever happen, but Mello _liked_ doing this, he _liked_ comforting Near, Mello _liked_ comforting his arch-rival. What the hell was this? What the hell was going on?

That's when Mello had an epiphany.

He and Near weren't rivals. Mello simply had an irrational hate towards the albino boy. Near had never done anything directly aggressive or insulting to Mello. Even after Mello would break his toys or somehow embarrass him, the only thing Near ever did was stare at Mello the whole time. When Mello would finish, their eyes would lock for a split second, hateful glee in Mello's azure ones, nothing in Nears graphite-coloured ones.

Mello suddenly realized just then that Nears eyes _weren't_ empty of emotion, there was one emotion that radiated so obviously from the boys eyes you wouldn't notice it unless you thought about it as hard as Mello just had. The only problem was, Mello didn't know what emotion it was.

The blond chocoholic actually had to remind himself why he hated Near so much. Why did he hate such a vulnerable, weak, placid boy? How could he hate Near now that the white-haired genius had practically confessed his rather uncomprehending adoration for him? Oh yeah, Near was shining, golden number one, and Mello was only silver number two. But now, they both could be number one. They could both be L, the three greatest detectives in the world. Mello wondered that if he had known that fact from the beginning, would he of hated Near? Maybe they could of been friends, best friends.

It could of been the three of us, Matt, Near and I, Mello thought. A smile graced his features when his thoughts turned his red-headed best friend, knowing he would never leave his gamer's side, not for anything.

_'Just _wait_ until I tell him about this.'_ Mello thought. The smile suddenly dissipated when Mello realized he'd been wrong all these years, he'd been unfair, selfish, arrogant...

Mello, frowned. Summarizing his epiphany to a single phrase. I've been an ignorant bastard, all these years.

"My God." Mello whispered to himself in awe.

"Mello, I'm sorry to ask you this. But, could you.... carry me to my room. My legs.... they can barely keep me up right now." As if to prove his point, Near leaned all of his weight into Mello's arms and his knees buckled violently.

Near would have fallen to the floor if Mello hadn't instinctively tightened his grip around the now weak boy. Easily, Mello scooped Near up into his arms and carried him bridal style. Near gasped as his feet were swung off the ground by an arm under his knee, but immediately settled there almost happily in Mello's arms and moved his face up to the crook of Mello's neck and shoulder.

Near was frightfully light, in Mello's opinion. He could feel a majority of the boys bones through his pallid skin and pyjamas. Mello had actually rarely seen the other boy eat, and when he did, it was very little.

Mello tensed slightly at the feeling of Near's warm breath, his nose, his _lips_ on his bare skin. Mello mentally shrugged the matter away reluctantly. Near _was_ kinda the social retard of the orphanage anyway. The little albino probably had no idea just how intimate he was being.

"Near?"

"...Yes?" Near's voice was slightly muffled by Mello's skin. The colourless boys surprisingly hot breath made Mello's skin tingle with an unfamiliar feeling.

"Why'd you nearly fall?"

There was an awkward pause and Mello noticed that the albino boys hands were shaking, shaking with effort, but the grip never loosened, in fact, it seemed to get tighter by the second, as if Near was afraid Mello would suddenly disappear in a puff of smoke. Mello subconsciously tightened his hold on Near reassuringly.

"I'm very tired." The white haired boy finally answered.

"Why? When's the last time you slept?" Mello asked as he turned around and started to walk down the corridor again, towards the dorm rooms. The blond scowled at how motherly he probably sounded.

"I've never slept well, a bit like...." Near stopped, remembering why this was all happening, "But to answer your question, the last time I slept was two days ago."

Mello almost dropped Near in horror, instead, Mello just stopped walking, they were already at the corridor that Nears room was in as it was located close to Rodger's office.

"What?! What the hell _possessed_ to keep you awake for so long?" Mello tried to look down at the boys face and but couldn't see it as it was pressed against Mello's neck. Mello shivered when pale eyelashes tickled his skin slightly as Near blinked every now and then.

Near didn't answer, he couldn't, because he didn't know why he hadn't slept at all for over 42 hours. Despite Near's best efforts, his mind had never succumbed to sleep. His eyes would only droop, but never fully close, except to blink slowly and wearily.

By now, Near had to make a huge effort to simply walk, and he had half ran today, to catch up with Mello in the corridor, to cling to him, to smell him, to look straight into his eyes, to adore him.

"I think..." The boy finally muttered, "It's because I sensed something bad had happened, or was going to happen. But..." Near couldn't continue, the knot in his throat was too much to bear, a sob escaped Near's lips and a new torrent of tears slid down his cheeks into Mello's neck.

"It's Ok Near, hush there." Mello managed to get one of his hands to reach Nears head and he stroked the boys snowy-white hair. Near's sobs subsided slightly, but the boys shivers resumed, worse than before.

Mello started to walk again. He was soon outside Near's door. Mello grunted as he put all Nears weight and his own on only one leg, using the other to kick open the door. The door swung open and banged against the door-stopper silently.

The locks for the dorm rooms in Whammy's house were weak, apparently it was a safety thing. Both Matt and Mello have used this fact to their advantages many times and were now an official pros at kicking open doors, it was a skill they were both proud of.

Mello nudged the door closed behind him with the heel of his shoe and stalked across the room to Near's bed, which was tucked into the farthest corner of the room. The distressed boy was still shivering and breathing shallow breaths.

Mello patted the boys head again to reassure him that he was still there. Mello knelt down at Near's bed and placed him on the quilts. When Mello tried to pull away, he was stopped by Near still gripping to his shirt desperately.

"Near, I have to go now, I'm sorry. We'll see each other tomorrow, I promise." _'God, I'm promising stuff to this guy now. This is getting weird.'_ Near tightened his grip on Mello's shirt even more and tugged weakly. His eyes were closed, he was so tired...

"Don't leave..." Mello reached out and stroked the boys hair comfortingly.

"Near, I-" Near pulled at the shirt impatiently.

"You can lie down beside me Mello. Please, stay." Mello was (of course) shocked by Near's sudden impatience. He sighed lightly.

"Alright, Near. Move over." The pale boy obeyed, pressing himself against the wall for the blond.

Mello clambered onto the bed and lay on his side so that he faced Near. For the too many-enth time that day, the two boy's eyes locked together, ash gray and sea blue, gray that shone with no longer hidden adoration, blue that shimmered with a new understanding.

Mello didn't notice, when one of Near's small hands realized its grip on his shirt and placed itself on his feminine-looking hips lightly.

"I thought something bad was going to happen to you." The blond's eyes widened at the small boy's statement.

"What do you mean?" The pale boy winced at the painful memories before answering.

"When I couldn't sleep. Something told me that something bad was going to happen to you."

Mello soothed the boy, brushing away the new tears that had formed in his eyes and cooing softly.

"It's Ok Near, I'm here, I'm Ok." _'This is downright stupid now, what are you doing?'_ The albino boy smiled weakly, it was a real smile. Mello's heart couldn't help but melt like the chocolate he was addicted to. _'Oh, right, he's fuckin' _cute_ now? Snap out of it you twit!'_

"Mello...." Near's voice was desperate and pleading, "Mello." The boy felt himself savouring the word like a temporary gift, and he wanted to do it again and again, "Mello." A shiver ran down his spine and his smile widened.

Mello simply allowed his orphanage name to be repeated by the young genius that lay beside him. He shut his own eyes and smiled.

This felt so right. Mello didn't want to question why, he didn't want to ruin this peace that had cooled his burning mind. The faint feeling of breath glided over his skin, warming it slightly.

_'What the hell is going on? Did I miss something happening somewhere? What the fuck are you doing? Get the hell away from Near! He's... he's _poisoned_ you! That's it!'_

_'.... _Just_ s_hut up already, whoever you are.'

_'Idiot, I'm you. I'm you when when you were freakin' sane!'_

'Don't care. Just shut up. You're annoying me now.'

Simply because he felt like it, Mello moved his hand to place it on Near's soft-looking cheek. Mello stopped when Near spoke, his hand suspended in the air, halfway through its journey. The smile on Near's face disappeared

"Mello?" Said boy watched the other boy's lips move. Since when did they look so appealing?

"Yes, Near?" Near smiled again and Mello blushed at how seductive he'd just sounded. Where the hell did _that_ come from?

"Mello, will you stay?" The blond froze at the question. His hand resumed it's journey to Near's cheek. When it gently touched the soft, velvety skin, Near's eyes snapped open. They bore right into Mello's almost as if he was looking into his soul. Mello had to tell the truth.

"I don't know, Near. I don't know." The pale boy said nothing, only stared pleadingly into Mello's eyes.

Mello wondered what had triggered this sudden change in Near. Maybe L's death had a bigger impact on the albino than everyone would think. But why was Near showing _Mello_ this? Even if Near didn't hate or even dislike Mello, everyone knew that Mello would never do any favours for Near.

Perhaps the death of L had so badly affected both of them that they needed each other to ease the pain. But that just didn't seem right to Mello. Near had never shown any feelings towards the World's Greatest Detective. But then again, Near rarely showed emotion anyway.

Had it just become too much for Near? Had he given up on hiding himself the world? Had L's death been the fuse? Too many questions. Too many for one night. Maybe Mello should sleep...

Mello was lowering his eyelids and pulling his hand away from Nears cheek when the younger boy spoke again.

"Mello, there's something you should know..." Near suddenly became interested in the blanket underneath him, "I-.... I've had......" Near shut his stone coloured eyes. Mello placed his hand back on Near's cheek again, signalling that he didn't have to continue speaking.

Near opened his eyes again and looked straight into those mesmerizing blue orbs. Near had an expression of pure determination on his face.

"I have feelings for you Mello. I've had feelings for you for a long time. I-.. I..." Near trailed off. Lowering his eyes to the blanket again. A blush tinted his off white skin a pale pink.

Mello subconsciously admitted it was absolutely adorable.

_'Oh. My. God. Why the hell is Near _not_ in pain right now? And why are you finding him fucking _cute_ now? This is insane! Get out of here! Why are you still here? GET OUT!' _The voice in Mello's head screamed and ranted. But he wasn't particulary listening to it. _'He's hypnotized you! He's cursed you! Hit him! Make him plee for mercy!... Oh shit'_

Before Mello knew what was happening, dirty thought's ran through his young, curious mind. Mello making Near scream his name. Near begging Mello for more. Mello's eyes alit with sudden excitment.

Near obviously didn't like the fact that Mello said nothing. So his graphite eyes looked at Mello worriedly. The albino was surprised to be greeted by the sight of a suddenly very hungry looking Mello, and not for food either.

"Mello?" Near's voice had heightened to a squeak, he didn't like that look on Mello's face at all.

Mello suddenly changed. Being pulled out of his thoughts by the very voice he wanted to hear right now. Mello stared wide-eyed at Near, wondering how long Near had been waiting for him say something.

"What is it Near?" Near looked searchingly into Mello's eyes.

"Can you stay?" Mello gasped at the repeated question, wasn't he _already_ asked this? What was Near thinking?

"I already told you Near, I don't know." Near winced at the unchanged answer.

"But- but...." Mello shot Near a questioning look. The albino look away from the blond again, clearly a little embarrassed.

"Is what you said true?" Mello questioned. Near's gaze shot back up into Mello's aquamarine eyes.

"Yes..." It was the faintest of murmurs, but Mello still heard it.

Mello froze. Near was telling the truth, he meant what he said... Near liked Mello. But how? How could this be? Even if Near didn't have mutual feelings towards Mello. The blond still treated him like crap. Was Near some kind of masochist? Mello didn't smirk at the idea. It seemed unappealing to him, Near liking Mello hitting him. In fact, it made Mello shiver.

"Do you want to know why?" The petite boy asked expectantly, as if he was reading Mello's mind.

Mello could only nod dumbly, his throat was tight, almost painful. He didn't know why.

"I think, if given the chance, you are truly a kind person." Near spoke as if he'd been planning this moments for a long time, "Behind the insults, behind the anger, hatred and jealousy, you're just a fragile soul. You're just Mello. I've seen you with Matt sometimes, you are just that little less tense around him. You smile, you laugh, you joke around. I- I love seeing you like that... It makes me want to smile with you." Near went silent, as if just waiting for Mello to laugh at him. Near bowed his head so he couldn't possibly meet Mello's eyes with his own.

Mello didn't laugh. He didn't, jeer, sneer, snarl or growl. He didn't shout and swear. He didn't leave Near, all alone in his room. He didn't even smile.

"Near." Mello breathed, his icy eyes were wide with shock, his lips parted in awe. He was truly surprised by what Near had truthfully said.

_'So this is it? _This_ is what Near thinks of me? This is crazy, it _can't_ be true. But why would Near say something like that if it wasn't true. That means.... Dear God, he _does _like me.'_

"Near." He repeated.

Near's once soulless eyes locked onto the blond's again in a determined stare. Determined to look into Mello's soul, determined to see the older boy's true reaction to this, determined to watch even if Mello laughed hysterically in his face and slammed the door to his heart in it afterwards.

When Mello did nothing of the sort, in fact, nothing at all, Near did something that he knew he would probably regret the moment he actually did it.

Near fisted his hands on Mello's shirt and pulled the boy towards him, pressing their lips together in an awkward kiss.

* * *

A/N: Tada! Please review and all that shizzles!  
Laters!


	3. I Think

A/N: Finally! An update. Please don't hit meeee. I've been going through a kinda crappy time these past months. Sorry if this chapter isn't as long as the others, but I just don't know what else to put in here. X(

Anyways, my lovely little readers, enjoy!

* * *

Mello froze in shock and made a muffled sound of surprise. Near desperately clung on, trying to make the half-frozen kiss last as long as possible. Thoughts of Mello leaving him, Wammy's, everyone and everything behind still plagued his intelligent mind with inescapable fear and he wanted to get as much of Mello as possible.

Mello couldn't take it anymore. Without trying to hurt Near, he placed his hands on Near's shoulders and pushed the albino away. He really didn't want this and he had a feeling he knew what Near was trying to do, the younger boy was trying to get an excuse for Mello to stay, to trap him.

Near let out a whimper and kept his grip on Mello's shirt as he bowed his head so that the blond wouldn't see the tears that had started to fall incessently down his cheeks. Near truly couldn't understand why he crying, it was as if his mask of cold stoicness had been ripped off him and stamped on until it was a million useless pieces. It terrified Near to no end, knowing that if Mello wanted to, he could use this new, broken Near to his advantage.

"Near," Mello's voice was shaking with emotion, "I can't go along with that... I'm sorry, Near." He sat up and leaned his back against the wall where the head board should of been, pulling himself out of Near's grasp. Mello looked at the top of Near's head as saw the boy was shaking. Mello reached out and layed his hand on Near's snowy locks. The pale boy flinched under the touch.

Mello only realised Near was crying when the latter took shuddering breath that ended in a wince. Guilt tugged roughly at Mello's heart. He'd never seen Near like this before, and it made him feel terrible that he was one who seemed to have finally broken Near. Yes, Mello was mean to Near, but only because he knew Near could take it, that not he, not _anyone,_ could actually break him. The petite boy really was quite strong, maybe not physically, but certainly mentally. Mello had known that fact for a long time, but only subconciously. It was just at the back of his mind, waiting to show itself.

It was then that Mello also realised that Near wasn't trying to trap him, but trying to save him. The more Mello actually _thought_ about leaving Wammy's alone, the more out of the question and down right stupidly dangerous it sounded. Near seemed only to want Mello to be safe. The chocoholic couldn't help but be touched by this behaviour, especially coming from such a supposed emotionless boy.

Without really thinking, Mello started to bury his fingers into the soft hair that lay beneath them, gently massaging the scalp. His gaze was fixed on the wall across from him, his icy eyes glazed over with thought.

_'Near really isn't lying. He truly cares for me. I know that he couldn't act if his life depended on it...'_

Near calmed down slightly under Mello's touch, because he couldn't _not_ calm down. He quickly tried pulling all of his emotions together again and lock them away. But one seemed to slip through his fingers everytime. Fear. Fear for Mello, not himself. Near knew that Mello wouldn't survive out there in the big wide world. Even if he did, it wouldn't be the right way. Mello was bound to get into something illegal or immoral, it was an undeniable fact. Near had a feeling that even Mello knew that.

Mello looked away from the wall he was focusing on, looking back to Near. He pulled his hand away when he saw what he was doing. Not because he was disgusted by the action, but because he wasn't sure whether or not Near really wanted that kind of attention at the moment.

When Mello's fingers slid out of Near's snowy locks, the albino felt rather relieved, because the feel of them was starting to make him succumb to sleep.

The blond looked away, not wanting to see Near in this state.

"Near," Mello spoke for the first time in what felt like hours, "may I ask you something?"

There was a short period of silence, then a small, wobbling voice, "Yes?"

It took a while for Mello to form the words on his tongue, then a little while longer to actually speak them, "How long?"

The tension in the air increased at the question, the silence that took place was almost bone-crushing.

Mello looked back at Near and saw that the albino was shivering. With out really thinking, Mello bent over and wrapped his arms around Near's thin frame. Ignoring the tension that struck through the tiny boy's body, Mello pulled him up so that Near was practically sitting on Mello's lap and leaning on the blond's chest with his back. The chocoholics arms were crossed over Near's flat stomach, loosely holding him in place.

Fatigue took over Near and he allowed his head to fall back and rest on Mello's shoulder. Warmth washed over him when he felt the older boy's breath skim over his cheek lightly.

"You don't have to answer." Mello murmured.

Near turned his head until his mouth was hovering above Mello's neck. The blond shivered as warmth spread over his skin like liquid.

"It's hard to say..." Near finally whispered, it appeared that he was talking to himself more than anyone else, "These feelings, they just sort of... grew. It could of started the moment I first saw you for all I know."

Mello turned his own head toward Near's to look into those large, coal eyes, rimmed with red puffiness from the crying. Their breaths mingled hotly and they could practically taste each others breath. It was almost too much.

As Mello stared at the tear-stained, emotional Near, into those charcoal eyes, at that skin that would certainly give Snow White a run for her money and those lips... The very lips that were pressed against his own just a few minutes ago.

Under Mello's gaze, Near started to blush. His fingers tightened their grip on his own white shirt insecurely.

When Mello spoke, it so sudden compared to the peaceful silence that had taken over the room that Near almost flinched.

"I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, Near." Mello said, "But I know that you're telling me the truth about all of this."

Near lifted one of his hands to rest it on Mello's, which was resting on Near's side. The blond tensed slightly under the touch. Before Mello could stop him, Near placed a small, light kiss on his neck.

"Thank you." Near sighed. His eyes slid shut and he relaxed completely.

Sleep was starting to creep over his body. His eyelids grew heavier by the second, his hand fell away from Mello's, his head rested against Mello's shoulder, weighing it down slightly.

Mello waited for Near to fall asleep. Even after the smaller boy lost consciousness, Mello didn't move. The chocoholic simply sat there and thought...

L's death...

Near's confession...

Who will success L?

What will happen to the loser?

Does there _have_ to be a loser?

_"How about you two work together?"_

Roger...

Would it really work?

_"Yeah, sounds good."_

It's clear that Near thought so...

L...

Help me...

That's when it hit Mello.

The answer was in front of him. The answer was sitting on his lap, resting it's snow-white head on his shoulder. The answer was breathing warm air on his neck. The answer claimed to have feelings for him. The answer was...

The answer was "Yes."

Yes, Mello and Near could work together. They could _be_ L. They could _surpass_ L.

Mello clasped Near's limp hand with his own, a genuine smile grew across his face. His once fatigued orbs now shone brightly with determination.

Together...

Together, they would defeat Kira. Together, they would avenge L.

Mello's smile broadened.

_'Kira, watch out.'_

Mello lifted Near's hand to his lips and gently kissed it.

_'We're coming to get you.'_

Mello only realised what he'd done to Near's hand a few seconds _after_ he'd done it. In more surprise than horror, he looked at the appendage with wide, aqueous eyes.

_'_Why_ did I just do that?'_

Mello looked down to check on Near. The second his eyes focused on the serene, pale face before them, they couldn't look away.

Those lips, slightly parted, warm air emerging from it. That skin, so smooth and pale, it was like warm porcelain that glowed in the moonlight. Those eyes, hidden away under icy lids. Mello suddenly twitched, his body jerking violently for no apparent reason.

Mello finally managed to tear his eyes away from that suddenly beautiful face and to their hands. Their palms were facing each other, Near's simply laying on top of Mello's. As if to test something, Mello moved his hand so that he and Near's finger's slipped between each other.

Mello could only stare in awe.

Despite the differences. The difference in size, colour and age...

Their hands seemed to fit perfectly.

Still seeming to be experimenting, Mello rose his hand along with Near's and press each of those slim, pale fingers to his lips.

It terrified Mello. It terrified him that everything seemed to fit so well, be so perfect. It annoyed, angered and terrified Mello.

Why was this happening? Why not before? Why could he and Near barely in same room before and now be in the same _bed_? Why do they fit like two of Near's puzzle pieces?

So many "Why?"s, they flooded Mello's brain, drowning every piece of logic he had for just a moment.

In that moment, Mello tightened his grip on Near's hand, slipped his hand further over Near, pulling the boy closer, he turned his head so that his nose and mouth became buried in those soft, snowy locks.

Even after logic returned to him, Mello still clung to Near like a lifeline, afraid to be dragged under all the questions he couldn't answer.

Before he knew it, tears were welling his eyes.

"L." he whispered desperately. Tears ran from his eyes into Near's hair, "L, I need you. Help me. Answer my questions. Give me a clue. Lend me a hand. I cannot solve this. I need an answer..."

Suddenly, Mello's eyelids started to grow heavy. Despite trying to stay awake, he was starting to nod off.

In an attempt to keep himself awake, he bit his lip. His canine buried itself into the skin. The pain woke Mello up just a bit. Only just enough to see _him_.

There stood L, his eyes once again hidden, but an easy smile on his face. The tension he'd always had around him in life was now gone. He was standing near the door of the room, a good few meters away from his two successors.

Mello stared at him, still trying to keep his eyes open. He could barely keep his grip on Near's hand anymore.

The ghostly raven rose his right hand, splaying out his forefinger and thumb into the shape of an L. Mello frowned in confusion at the gesture.

L's smile widened slightly and he rose one more finger, making three.

Sleep was now beginning to completely take over Mello. He bit his lip again, achieving nothing but a sore mouth.

He desperately tried to understand the gesture. He tried to understand why L was there. He tried to put together the pieces and solve this mess.

But it would to wait until tomorrow, it seemed.

Mello finally allowed sleep to take over him. But not before weakly flipping off the ghost of his idol for being so damned confusing.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know it's short. But quality over quantity people! ^.^

Anyways, hope you had fun reading it, I had (stressful) fun writing it. X)

Please drop in a little review and make my day!

Laters!

PS: ZOMFG! I almost forgot, people. I'M NOW 15 AS OF LAST SUNDAY!!!! XDDDD


	4. It's Quite The Opposite

A/N: Hello my lovlies, I'm back with a new chapter! Yay! Please enjoy this, I rewrote it something like 5 times. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own DeathNote.

* * *

Mello awoke with the feeling of sunlight softly warming the left side of his face and his left arm. His eyes slowly flickered open, attaining their trade-mark sharpness in split seconds. His lashes brushed against his cheek-bones as they blinked against the brightness that streamed into the room though the large window right beside him. He shut his slightly parted lips before licking them habitually. Checking the time on a clock on the far wall, Mello discovered it was 07:47, he had about forty-five minutes until lessons would start.

A weight on his chest and slightly numbed legs dragged him to the present, reminding him what had happened just yesterday. He eyes focused on a certain albino child that was still fast asleep on his lap. Reality slapped Mello fully in the face just then, all in one terrible, bone-breaking blow.

_'L's dead.'_

_'Near likes you.'_

_'You may like him.'_

_'Kira's still out there.'_

_'You're on your own if you screw this up.'_

Groaning for multiple reasons, Mello twisted and bent his neck, making it crack and pop from the sudden strain. He moved his arms, unlatching the grip he had on Near's own hand and letting his hands run across Near's torso. His own hand felt cold and empty when he let it go of Near's. His shoulder blades seemed to groan at the movement, as if protesting against leaving Near behind.

Mello slowly slid out from under Near and placed the smaller boy on the mattress as he did so, lowering his own feet to the floor and standing up.

The blond stared at the slumbering infant before him for while, his eyes cold and hard, his mouth now a thin, tense line. His hands were in fists at his sides and were trembling for a reason he himself didn't know. If someone walked into the room now, they would of thought Mello was about to kill Near in his sleep.

Sighing, he finally turned away, searching for a pen or pencil and a piece of paper. His expression never even changing as he looked in drawers and looked under the bed.

It was surprisingly difficult to find a pen and even harder to find a piece of paper in Near's room. Once he had them both, Mello quickly wrote down his note and layed it on the bedside table. He also set the alarm on Near's alarm clock for eight for the boy, just in case. He took one more look at Near before turning to leave.

Mello now knew what he had to do now, for the good of everyone that meant something to him.

A blaring beeping sound invaded Near's deep, somehow dreamless sleep and he reached blindly out for the clock on his bedside table. Extinguishing the sound abruptly, Near slowly sat up, wondering what was missing.

Then it hit him. It hit him like a freezing wind and hail.

L was missing.

Justice was dead.

Was he now justice?

What about...

"Mello?"

Near twisted around in search of the boy he'd fallen asleep on top of just the night before, causing his head to throb from the sudden quick movement. He twisted back, his heart hammering slightly. His graphite eyes wide with confusion as they searched for golden locks, sapphire eyes and black cloth.

Had he left? If so, for good?

Near wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to that.

It took him a while to notice the note on the bedside table. He slowly picked it up, afraid of what could be written on it.

The writing was rushed, but still very legible. It was what was actually written down that made Near read it two or three more times after the first.

Tears formed in his eyes, his throat knotted and his heart now thundered in his slim chest. His weak knees gave way underneath him and he dropped to the floor, crumpling over and sobbing.

His hand fisted around the piece of paper as he pressed his forehead to the wooden floor, obscuring what was written rapidly on it.

_'Near,_

_Matt and I'll be by your side until the end, as long as you are by our own._

_Together, we'll avenge and take back the name of L._

_We will win this._

_Mello'_

The child prodigy could finally smile through his joyful tears.

"Thank you, Mello"

For once in Near's life, he meant his gratitude so much it hurt. It made his heart ache and his skin feel too warm. It was pain that he was sure he'd like to feel again.

Mello had checked his shared room, the cafeteria and the library already, but still hadn't found who he was looking for. Making an annoyed sound in his dry, neglected throat, Mello tried his room again.

When Mello opened the door to find the very person he was looking for, he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not now. The second occupant of his room and his best friend was sitting on his bed cross-legged, eyes glued to a hand-held console and tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

"You heard yet?" Matt asked as he paused and put aside his PSP to give Mello his full attention, something he rarely did for anyone. The redhead had a feeling his best friend would be upset after L's death and braced himself for a huge tantrum from the blond.

So he couldn't help but be surprised when Mello didn't scowl or shout. Instead, the boy only went a little more pale then before. Mello was still clearly getting used to the idea of his idol being dead.

"Yeah, I heard. Roger told me yesterday in his office, that's why he wanted me. Has he told everyone now?"

Matt paused slightly, surprised by Mello's lack of screaming, punching, biting and swearing, "Yeah, he told everyone in the cafeteria when we were having dinner, everyone was surprised and upset of course. We're getting the day off because of it. Where were you by the way?"

Mello finally moved his way across the room and sat down on the foot of the bed, across from Matt. He could see the faint surprise in the redhead's eyes through the orange glass of his goggles, "I was with Near." he finally answered truthfully. Mello knew that if he lied, Matt would be able to tell.

Matt's forehead creased with confusion. But a glint in Matt's eye said he wasn't totally surprised, "I thought you hated him..."

"We have to catch Kira. We all know that it can only happen if we work together. Besides, he...." Mello knew he was probably blushing by now. He looked down at the bed beneath him, hoping that Matt wouldn't notice.

The sound of stifled laughter made him look up again, a glare tracing his eyes.

Matt smiled easily through his chuckle, "So you've finally noticed?"

Mello's eyes widened and he said nothing.

"Near's always looking at you, always watching, observing you. It's almost painfully obvious. I suppose it's less easy to notice if you're the one being crushed on." Matt didn't burst into laughter after that, he merely looked at Mello with that easy smile still plastered on his face.

Mello couldn't believe it. How long had Matt known for? Mello was aware that reading people was one of Matt's specialities. But _still_, Matt had claimed that even he couldn't read Near like everyone else. Why didn't Matt tell him?

"When I found out, I was surprised, to be honest." Matt continued, as if he'd read Mello's questiong mind, "It was only about a month ago I figured it out anyway. I thought it would be best if either you found out yourself or if he himself told you. I'm guessing he told you though."

Mello still said nothing, simply looking at Matt as if he'd just slapped him in the face.

Matt momentarily glanced away, guilt lining his concealed eyes for a second before he turned back, "What about you?" Pure friendly curiosity in his tone.

Mello frowned in confusion, still not speaking.

Matt smiled again, "What are your feelings for Near? About this whole _thing _really."

Mello suddenly felt like a huge weight had been placed on his chest, he could hardly breathe, let alone speak. His hands balled into fists as he tried to force out the words wanted to say. He wanted to say so many things so badly it ached. He wanted to say he didn't know, he didn't understand, he hated this and that he was confused. But as soon as he opened his lips, only air would pass his lips.

Matt shook his head and made a slicing motion with his hand in the air, "Doesn't matter. You don't have to answer that."

Mello looked at Matt apologetically, the gamer seemed to pick up the mute message and shook his head again.

"No Mel, _I'm_ sorry," he murmured, "about everything. For not telling you, about this whole L thing..."

A smile suddenly flickered across Mello's pale face like a small candle as the weight seemed to ebb away into feather lightness, his lungs and heart were freed of the unexplicable anxiousy that had clutched them before.

"L isn't dead." he rightfully earned a very confused stare from Matt at the statement, "You're looking at a third of him right now, the second third is probably in his bedroom and the last is across the bed from me."

Matt's face paled intensely and he pulled his goggles down to around his neck as if checking they weren't playing a trick on him. Before he could say anything, Mello rose his right hand, holding out his thumb and forefinger into the shape of an L.

"Before, it was this. Watari represents the forefinger, the somewhat face of L, the messenger between the public and the genious. L is the thumb, hidden under the shadows but the heart of the intelligence, justice and just about everything in our lives. Without him, we wouldn't be here in this orphanage, we wouldn't have been raised to embrace our talents and intelligence."

Matt could only watch as Mello lifted his middle finger, making three. The redhead knew that the blond was smart, incredibly smart. But this had to be the first time Mello sounded like L himself. Matt wasn't sure weather he liked it or not.

"This is how it is now. I'm not entirely sure who's who yet though. I have a feeling Near's the thumb though, since I can't imagine him doing much to do with interacting with the public. But whoever is the middle finger would be the new face and voice of L. The index finger I'm not sure about either though."

Mello finally seemed to be finished, Matt stared in disbelief at his best friend. The redhead saw the turmoil behind the blond's eyes. Matt knew that Mello was pushing himself to grow up as quickly as possible to become level with the name of L. It was simply too much for a fourteen year old to do, in Matt's opinion.

Slowly, Matt reached out and took Mello's wrist, lowering his hand. Mello allowed it.

"Don't push yourself too much Mel, I can see it."

At first, Mello looked at Matt as if he'd just asked him what year it was. As realisation dawned on Mello, tears started to well in his azure eyes at the painfully true words. He should of known Matt would know what Mello was trying to do.

Matt grinned and playfully punched Mello on the arm softly, making the chocoholic laugh softly.

"We'll catch that mother fucker, one way or another, don't worry."

Mello gazed hopefully at Matt, "You're with us?"

Matt held out his hand, his grinning subsiding into his classic easy smile. Mello rose his own slowly, it was trembling slightly for a reason he didn't know.

"All the damn way, Mel."

Their hands slammed together and shook, sealing their bond and signing their invisible contract.

* * *

A/N: So, whad'ya think?  
Ok, question now for all of you. Do think I should: A) Make the next chapter (chapter 5) The final chapter of this fanfic and then start a new one with our three favourite boys some amount of years later out to catch Kira? Or B) Continue on this one.  
To be honest, I like the idea of starting a new one, but I like to put my readers first with stuff like this. :D  
Thank you for reading and please review, it makes me happy.

Laters people!  
LPR signing out!


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